A good spanking (not beating) will show an aggressive child how it feels to be bullied."

Brickwall: Reread that. Does it seriously make any sense to you? A child learns how to bully because he/she is bullied. All the child learns is that if you have enough physical power, you rule. You don't need to reason. You don't need to discuss. You don't need to walk away. You just hit and you get your way. How any parent resorts to that...lowers the bar to that level...and then, after the anger, defends that action is unbelievable. The negative effects of spanking have been documented in so many studies, there can no longer be any question about the results. Just GOOGLE any of the studies done for the past 20 years.

In fact the opposite may be true. Allow a child to be aggressive without punishment will only encourage that aggression. A good spanking (not beating) will show an aggressive child how it feels to be bullied.

It could also teach the child that its ok to hit another person. I dont spank my kids. My wife and myself tend to stick with the attachment parenting method but that's just us. From dealing with kids that our friends spank i can tell you its not an effective form of punishment in the child's behavoir. When i was a child grounding me from going outside and taking away my video games was fare more effective then taking a beating hehe. I might have gotten only spanked once or twice as a child Getting spanked usually lasted like 2 minutes. Being grounded on the other hand seemed like forever.

Besides if you think it about as adults what if some one Hit us every time we made a mistake or some one else didnt like our behavior most of the time adults have issues they discuss it with each other and dont start spanking each other. Could you imagine if your boss walked in and said "i had several complaints about your attitude bend over." and he starts spanking you. Children usually mimic there parents i can admit as a parent i see my oldest daughter mimicking my bad attitude habits from time to time just like i mimic my parents. I think most of us have moments where we stop and say oh crap i sound just like my mom/dad etc. If parents have a crappy attitude no amount of beating is going to fix a child with a bad attitude unless the parents can change there attitude first.

I also dont mean to sound old fashion but i also think another factor is both parents working. When we had our first child my wife and I made the decision that my wife should be a stay at home mom it was actually more my wife's idea then mine. we wanted our child to get proper attention and discipline for our child to be a successful human being. Of course both of us not working is a financial struggle but we felt its worth it for our kids.

Occasional spanking done when a child fails to respond to other measures and consequences imposed, and not done out of anger on the parent's part is not going to damage a child. However, when spanking is used consistently as the main form of discipline, especially if done in the heat of the moment as a release for the parent's frustration, it is harmful over time. Spanking should always be a last resort, following a warning and the child should know exactly why they are being spanked, not just because mommy or daddy are mad. Parents should have lots of "tools in their boxes" and need to get some help with parenting if they are having to resort to spanking on a regular basis.

I personally don't believe in corporal punishment, and thus refrain from employing it in disciplining my own child. But, that's just me, and I would never condemn parents who do spank their children. It's none of my business. I don't pretend to know what's best for every parent and child, since every family is different.

I was born in the 50's.I think most baby boomers experienced spanking as a child.I was spanked and lead a normal life,and my children were also spanked and are very well adjusted.

Back in the 50's and 60's there was Dr. Spock who said it was wrong to spank a child,but then later recantented his philosophy.

Who tries and reasons with a 2 year old? They need boundries and disipline along with love and compassion.Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Look at the lack of respect in teens today.They have no respect because they never learned disipline...Disipline NOT abuse.Now they can sue their own parents for being disiplined.

When I was in grade school the teachers had permision to spank if need be.Then I got it at home too for disrespecting my teacher.In our neighborhood all adults were to be respected.Each of them were to be treated as your parental authority.

I see a big difference in todays youth than in my era,and it's not not getting any better.

Right there with ya, Ralphy. I commented the same ideals below.

Being spanked didn't cause us emotional, psychological, or even self-esteem problems. We grew up to be normal adulst who are able to handle things that came our way, respect those around us as well as others' property, and we are HAPPY to be considerate of others.

Sounds like a pretty good upbringing to me.

I see a big difference in todays youth than in my era,and it's not not getting any better.

First of all, if it was such a good way to be raised - why did all of you stop raising "us" (us being hte younger generation) like that?

Second, teens have never been respectful to their parents -- they have, however, gotten worse at hiding it.

Third, every generation thinks their generation was the best and the ones following it were the worst.

Forth, discipline doesn't mean trying to "reason" with a 2 year old. There are ways to discipline that do not involve spanking and they are effective...but it's not "reasoning" with the child. Most adults cannot be reasoned with either, by the way.

Lastly, I was never spanked and I am well-adjusted. Unfortunately, anecdotal evidence is not convincing or scientific. One or two examples of how spanking worked (you and yours) or one or two examples of how non-corporal punishment worked (me and mine) is not a scientific report worthy of basing any off of.

Parents should discipline their children how they see fit -- and it will vary from parent to parent. I don't think there is any ONE right way. However, there should be consequences for parents who go to the extreme in either direction and there are, thank goodness.

Disciplining a child is not bullying. Why do you think so many kids are out of control. they are not discipline. Do you know what children think of being put in a corner? Nothing. Spanking a kid is not beating or bullying.

Do you know what children think of being put in a corner? Nothing. Spanking a kid is not beating or bullying.

I found being put in a corner really annoying when I was a kid.

I spanked my children but never beat them or tortured them. I think there is a fine line in allowing any type of physical punishment to a child and should all be stopped. After educating myself I now wish I had not even spanked my children. It does leave lasting effects throughout your life. There are many effective ways of punishment that teach respect, and show the child or young adult a better way to handle themselves. Young people should be educated in high school or even starting in elementary school on such a subject of human behavior and how to handle situations such as child discipline and how to just handle themselves in abusive situations, whether they are the abuser or the recipient. Why haven't we had such classes anyway, wouldn't it be better to try to start at a young age to show people how to use common logic and a more sensable way of handling all that life deals use. If started at a young age maybe it could help reform and protect most of us, and teach us how to handle an abusive situation.

I believe that corporal Punishment should be brought back into the school setting within reason, a parent should have the right to allow the teacher's or schools to discipline a child as necessary, but alas that right has been taken away from the parents, all the experts that are in favor of banning corporal punishment sight the same studies, but it is a bunch of hogwash and statistics can be minipulated to fit whatever criteria you want them to. Look at society and the generations that grew up with corporal punishment and those that have grown up and are growing up without it. This should be a good indicator of why it needs to be allowed in the school setting, Also it promotes consistancy if healthy punishment is practiced at home. What we are saying to our children is you can behave however you want in a public setting because nothing is really going to happen to you. If a child hurts themselves by accident they learn very quickly not to do that again. It promotes Cause and Effect which is really missing in society today.

weRdoomed - the reason so many parents that grew up with healthy discipline stopped was because big brother(Government) came in and said you could be arrested for spanking or diciplining your children, now there was some validity to there views as child abuse was being seen more often, but that was because the victims(Children) and teacher's were becoming more brave and reporting suspected abuse, were prior it was kept a secret, government just made the pendulum swing too far the other way( but that is the government way try to control at all costs) Yes there are still parents that will use the justification of spanking to abuse their kids, but they will still find a way to mullify there aggression with or without Fed,State, or Local laws.

weRdoomed - the reason so many parents that grew up with healthy discipline stopped was because big brother(Government) came in and said you could be arrested for spanking or diciplining your children

My parents chose not to spank us because they said they knew you could raise respectful kids without spanking them so why would you chose to hit your kids if you didn't have to?

My parents are wonderful and my siblings and I never gave them a lick of trouble.

I think you can raise respectful kids as long as you discipline them and that can be with spanking or without spanking. It's an individual choice.

We need systems in place that penalize people who abuse children, but the in between is up to parents. Of course, I do not think it is ever okay to leave bruises on your child even if you choose spanking as your form of discipline.

And, personally, I am glad Big Brother is there to harass people who think it is okay.

First of all, I don't think corporal punishment should ever be allowed in schools and should never have been allowed. For the simple reason that a principal or v/p may have a dislike for a child/certain children and so use their authority to inflict pain on these children.

I have to agree with several posters on here that our teenagers have no respect for their elders or people of authority, all for lack of discipline or spanking if you will (not beating btw). I was raised with corporal punishment, which taught me to be respectful towards my elders. I can actually count on 1 hand how many times I was spanked (3 to be exact) and one of the reasons was because I did not come home after school (4th or 5th grade) and my parents were so distraught, they called the police to help find me and when I decided to finally go home after playing at a friends house the police saw me walking home and asked me who I was and was I going home. What a relief that was for my parents. I have to say I deserved this spanking on my bare bottom to which I survived btw I believe a spanking is warranted as to the severity of children's actions. This way spankings aren't always necessary and regular discipline can be used.

That anyone believes that spanking or any other physical punishment is appropriate is absurd. To discipline means "to teach", not to hit. I'm shocked that so many find this acceptable. The definition of illogical is "Don't hit your brother" spoken my mom/dad while hitting their kid. It "aint" brain surgery, people.

Definition

The term "discipline" comes from the Latin word "disciplinare," which means "to teach." Many people, however, associate the word with punishment, which falls short of the full meaning of the word.

That anyone believes that spanking or any other physical punishment is appropriate is absurd. To discipline means "to teach", not to hit. I'm shocked that so many find this acceptable. The definition of illogical is "Don't hit your brother" spoken my mom/dad while hitting their kid. It "aint" brain surgery, people.

This +1000. It ain't rocket science either, it's lazy parenting.

This +1000.

Saws

you beat me to it. Discipline means to teach or guide. Not to beat or shout at. I think people forget that kids are people too and if they are acting up they need to find the cause and not try to treat the "symptom" by spanking.

dsb: So these are the choices in your mind?? Beat the child or give them no rules whatsoever? Is there a correlation between those who smack children and rude, selfish adults? I find it odd that we still need to be taught how to parent.

@ AP: dsb: So these are the choices in your mind?? Beat the child or give them no rules whatsoever?

dsb didn't say beat. There is a HUGE difference between spanking and beating. Advocates of no punishment, perfect children bs, are way out of line and way over the edge.
Maybe the "beating" generation, is a result of the first "no punishment" generation? Maybe because they had no discipline, they don't know how to handle their own unruley child, so they get out of hand with the anger. I don't feel that beating people come from being spanked. I think it's their own demons that cause that, not someone else.

I can tell ya though, and I know tons of people are going to disagree, because that's just what people do on message boards, but when children KNEW the paddle awaited, they did less to deserve it.

When I was a child, I was rarely in trouble for anything, but I remember ONE spanking from my dad. One or two from my neighbors' parents though, when I spent the night and we did something we shouldn't have. Schools had a "paddle" rule, too.

Other people had the right to discipline children that were out of line, when the children were in their care, and we grew up to be respectful, considerate and loving human beings. Not MONSTERS with mental problems!

Conway...I see you get it too.It won't be long and big Government will completely control kids.Maye we were just a few that had parents that understood what sparing the rod meant.I never felt abused,and I never got spanked without a cause.I raised my kids the same.We have a very loving and close relationship with all our family.They make it sound like we got spanked everyday.

Divorce is at around 50%...not sure how many families without a father...and they wonder why this is all happening...it's not from spanking!

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against spanking as a discipline tool under any circumstances. A 2010 study published by the journal Pediatrics found that children who are spanked frequently at age 3 are more likely to be aggressive when they are 5.

My question is how do we know that the reason these children are more aggressive is because they were spanked? Is it possible the reason they were spanked is because they were too aggressive in their behaviors to begin with?

New laws need to be made making parents totally responsible for the actions of their children!

If your child breaks the law, then the parents are thrown in jail.

Good. Now the parents get thrown into jail if they do anything or if they do nothing. Maybe cut down on mindless breeding.

With all due respect - you think today's youth are so terrible compared to your generation?

So I suppose war, corruption, bullying, child abuse, profanity, drugs, and prejudice didn't exist when you were growing up?

It is a fantasy of nostalgia that things were so peachy when you were kids. Parents have always done the best they could...kids have always pushed the limits...older people have ALWAYS thought kids were worse now than when they were young.

This story is about a child being cared for by a facility - not a parent - and that child coming home with bruising on their lower back, buttocks, and upper legs.

The question at hand is whether that is abuse. I, for one, think that it clearly is abuse.

OF COURSE what the daycare center did was abuse! Nobody on here is disputing that. Parenting is a PART of that story because people believe differently. And they are ALLOWED to discuss those differences on the message board.

Message boards are for opinions. Everyone doesn't think alike. What one person says, you might not agree with. I don't agree with everyone....but that's what a discussion board is about!

And by the way. Kids today ARE worse, and not because "older people" think they are. I'm not an "older person", but it's not hard to see the disrespect, hate and anger in kids today, that was NOT there in years past.

it's not hard to see the disrespect, hate and anger in kids today, that was NOT there in years past.

Really? What do you call this?

And...well...

Juvenile delinquency was considered a major social problem in the 1950s. Americans under the age of eighteen were committing serious crimes in growing numbers; their elders were horrified at the severity of the crimes and at the young criminals' disregard for authority. Most of all, though, people were concerned about what the rate of juvenile crime said about how the nation was raising its children. Of course, there had always been youth crime in America, even vicious youth crime. But in the 1950s, because of the growth of cities across the United States, it became a national cause for concern. http://www.enotes.com/1950-law-justice-american-decades/juvenile-delinquency

Don't fool yourself.

wah wah wah

wah wah wah

Not sure what this even means. Is this another example of how well you were raised?

I do not think spanking should be illegal, I just happen to think there are forms of discipline that work that do not involve spanking. I disparage those who use it as their form of discipline, however.

Additionally, I disagree that today's youth are so much worse than the youth of the 50's or any other time period for that matter.

I was raised to have respectful, intelligent conversations with people. And you?

*should read "I do NOT disparage..."

Want to raise a vicious dog? Beat it frequently.

Want to raise a vicious kid? Indoctrinate them there are no penalties and it is someone else's fault.

What a crock! Comparing a vicious dog to a child's upbringing?

Vicious children today are a result of parents who ignore them...parents who don't come home or spend time with their children...and a LACK of discipline. To continue to assume that all spankings are beatings, and all parents that spank are mental cases, is what is ruining society now.

BS...violence is never a necessary ingredient to raising a child or to creating boundaries.

Nobody said VIOLENCE. If you cannot distinguish between discipline and VIOLENCE, you are missing some electrical current somewhere.

Spanking is violence. Discipline does does not require violence.

Nobody said VIOLENCE. If you cannot distinguish between discipline and VIOLENCE, you are missing some electrical current somewhere.

What I find interesting is that you feel strongly that spanking is a good form of discipline yet you are unable to converse with others without being disrespectful.
Really doesn't do much for your point, in my eyes.

I agree that the parents should be called. AND, this is an outrageous act on the child care center's part, but I disagree that parents will "soon teach their offspring to behave."

If they don't believe in discipline now, they won't believe in it no matter what the child does later.

That's certainly food for thought, C. Twitter. I don't have kids, so I'm far from being an expert on day care and parenting. But, being a retired human resource director, I do know that if you penalize an employee via write ups for early dismissals, and their pay is reduced as well for those early dismissals, they either do an about face and take care of the problem or they lose their jobs. So, if they lose their jobs, they won't be able to afford day care or a lot of other things they may be privy to, like eating out (speaking of food for thought) and having their little darlings disturb others with their shenanigans and or temper tantrums. I do not condone child abuse, and the word "Spanking" was used way too lightly in this article.

Marlene,

I AM a mother...of 3. I don't believe in child abuse either. But I DO believe in discipline and my children have been taught right from wrong. If they do wrong, there is discipline. You might not agree with my discipline, but I might not agree with your HR tactics either. That's an "to each his own" situation.

I am not siding with the daycare...not in ANY way. I would be just as PO'd if one of my children had come home with bruises and red marks across any part of them.

I do however believe that if children are disciplined from the start, you, as an HR director, wouldn't have a NEED for pink slips or dismissals because parents have to leave to pick up an unruly child. The child would already know how to behave. And if those parents DID have to leave to pick them up, the child would already know the punishment would be more than just dinner without dessert.

I totally agree with you, and want to make sure you aren't taking my post differently than what was meant. Wasn't trying to point out that your method of disciplining your children was wrong. Not in the least. In fact, my job would have been a heck of a lot easier if the employees (some of them) had raised their children the way you seem to have done. Handing out disciplinary actions and pink slips to those who are already overwhelmed by life itself was not my favorite thing to do. I had to enforce an across the board policy with regard to lateness, early leaves and absenteeism or the Union would be at my office door. My tactics were the same as most facilities.

You sound like a good mom who has it under control. I cannot speak as a parent, but was offering another point of view both as a former kid and as a former working professional who had to deal with employees taking unscheduled leave to deal with their children. My main point was that if a parent disciplines their child(ren), make sure they know they are loved and wanted. The emotional pain of rejection is far worse than the physical punishment.

Oh no, I didn't take your post wrong. I understood where you were coming from. I was just adding my thoughts. I may not have expressed it well though.

Thank you for the compliment. I do like to think I'm a good mom, and I love my children with all my heart, and they love me and their dad. That's a gift that can't be beat. :)

As for the rejection part of your post. I can't agree more, and I can be witness to that. My mother skipped out when we were very small. My father chose to stay and raise his children alone, and with more love than anyone could possibly know. Had she stayed gone, I would have been just fine because of the way my dad was as a parent.
As an adult, after my dad died, my mother came back into the picture. But even though I allowed her in, and even though she is the one who sought ME out, she still had harsh words and negativity towards me. I agree...I have scars from that, and now that she is much older, she wants to right her wrongs. As much as I'd like to have had a mom, I had a wonderful dad who did double duty to make sure I had what I needed...and a whole lotta love.
My kids were given what my dad gave me. :)

You expressed your thoughts very coherently. I wanted to make sure I did the same. There have been a few times when I got into a squabble because something I wrote was taken out of context and I like to fix things before that happens.

You are welcome. I have met several outstanding people on Newsvine within the last month or so. You have it so together as a parent and to have a two parent household with you and your husband presenting a united front is something of a rarity. You guys are truly wealthy.

Parents can really do a number on your head. I met another poster whose daughter in law did the same thing. She left his son with 2 little girls. I think its so incredible that this guy stepped up to the plate to raise his daughters, just like your dad.

I am a complete stranger to you--on the outside looking in with the information you shared with me. Now my fingers won't stop, so here goes. Your mother seems toxic and selfish. If she wants to mend fences (or at least offer a plausible explanation for deserting you) her negativity and harsh words sure aren't going to get that point across. Her wanting to right her wrongs is done to relieve herself, and gives you no benefit. Please set some boundaries and ground rules if you choose to continue a relationship with her. I have a feeling that if your mother continues her boorish behavior (medical reasons ruled out, I assume) your husband will intercede. You sound like a nice person and an excellent mom. :)

You are abusive. Would you spank a grocery store clerk or a waiter / waitress who was rude to you? No - you coward...you wouldn't. For fear.

When you spanked (abused) your son - have you ever been in total control of your emotions and physical aggression? NO - you said it yourself - it "very seldom comes to that." That means that your frustration and lack of ability to communicate effectively with your son = you abusing him.

GO TO PRISON...DO NOT PASS GO...DO NOT COLLECT $200 - You are as bad as a child molestor.

No but I like to spank my boyfriend! Seriously a spank or pat on the behind is a far cry from abuse! My dad spanked me when I needed it and I am a very kind, loving person, has nothing to do with spank. Abuse on the other hand is totally a different story. Leaving bruises, red marks or any other physical mark is bad. And I do not think any daycare or school should be hitting any child. Oh yeah and hitting and a spank on behind is two different things. A time out is the most appropriate, but every child needs a different type of dicipline I am sure.

Obviously optimal does not have kids. To compare spanking to child molestation is ridiculous.

@AmericaFirst: Now I am all confused. Don't know if its better to give or receive, and my husband ain't talkin'. Your first sentence is a freakin riot. Thanks for my first laugh of the day, allbeit a tad late in the p.m. The rest of your post is cool as well.

Lay off the crack, dear. Your crazy is kind of showing through.

Optimal is just trying to ruffle feathers.

No Conway ... I don't usually comment on anything that I don't feel strongly about. As a Marine, I constantly balance restraint of power with use of violence...it's not easy.

Raising 4 kids wasn't easy either. I am only human. I get frustrated and pissed off too...but like my parents raised me through love and compassion - and firm rules too, but without violence...I too am proud I was able to do the same for my kids.

Don't make me out to be a "Feather Ruffler"

Optimal, I myself was spanked as a child. I do not in any way, feel I was beaten. My dad raised me, and believe me, it was with so much love and compassion, that if I could have bottled it up, I would be rich today, because the world needs a whole lot of it. But not because of spankings. Because parents don't parent anymore. They want to be their children's BFF. Parenting is HARD. Being a friend is easier.

I was taught right from wrong and how to respect. I've raised 3 of my own, and if they got out of line, they were spanked. They did NOT get spanked for every little thing they did, and we did not use medieval measures. Kids will be kids. They were spanked when none of their father's or my other disciplines got the point across.

I can promise you, we all are very much in love with each other as a family, and not one of my children would ever accuse me or my husband of being cruel or violent.
My children respect, behave and appreciate.

If you didn't spank your children, that's your decision. But my opinion is that if I choose to, that doesn't make me some kind of crazy monster. Nor was it passed down from my own spankings.
Society should stop telling people they cannot discipline their children, and if they do, they go to jail. Kids are getting the idea that they can throw their parents in jail cells if they tell them homework comes first before phone calls and texting.

Whether or not you agree, what I see is that the generations are only getting worse, not better, for the "over coddling" parenting of today.

Optimal, jails are not overfilled with violent criminals because they were spanked. If you want to use logic, how about in earlier times divorce rates were not as high as they are today, sometimes causing some children to be without 1 parent or the other because they can't get along with their exes, therefore punishing the children which of course causes a child to feel like it is their fault and leaves them with low self esteems, frustrated and so angry, this amongst not being disciplined which causes a child to be disrespectful without any empathy for others, so quit being so self righteous and think that only your opinion matters here; we all have opinions of our own and have just as much right to express them as you.

Maybe the reason you are so rude and disrespectful is because you never got spanked and taught to respect other peoples opinions.

No Optimal-- I would not spank my waiter/waitress but I would spank you for putting child molestation in the same category as spanking. I can only hope you are looking for a response on this horrendous comparrison and you like to troll. Paaaalease!!!!

Delgena: Great post. Can I watch?:D

Watchers are welcome Marlene...In fact, encouraged!!!

Every time Optimal posts, I imagine a woman with frizzy hair and over sized bathroom slippers screaming out of a screen door on a trailer in the ozarks.

hahahahahahahaha. Turns out, I had the same vision!!

No, you don't spank a waitress or adult if you will, as their character is already formed, where a child needs to be shaped and taught right from wrong DUH!!

All of my comments are directed at optimal, now that I have said what I had to, I will just ignore him.

You are the people who gave birth to the out of control children you speak of today! Think about it. Kids behaved well in school for fear of paddling? Then those kids (aka you) never learned right from wrong for the correct reasons - only out of fear. Thus you have all become horrible parents who raised idiot kids..who now are raising more idiot kids.

So Sad!!! Grasping at straws to make an argument and calling us and our children idiots..Verbal abuse must be better than spanking huh? Do you practice what you preach??? Never mind, I have my answer!!

There are better ways.....like I tell me 5 year old client, use your words!

besides, the prison system and mental health rehabilitation will take care of them.

I never said Spanking a.k.a. Abuse, was not an effective deterrent. It is ... but the principle behind it is WRONG. If you know you are going to get hit, and thus you don't do something...you still don't understand WHY you are not doing it.

Spanking teaches spanking...that's it. Violence to solve an issue; abuse as a deterrent. It's all the same. You want your kids to grow up knowing right from wrong because of the deterrent of spanking? Or you want them to know right from wrong because of proper parenting.

As a father of 4, I know parenting is dam hard...the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Harder than the Marine Corp. Harder than any war I ever fought in - it is hard. Period. I got frustrated plenty of times...lost my temper...but never, EVER resorted to abuse and violence to solve the problem.

Slavery ended despite the Bible Thumper's arguments that it condoned slavery. As they say, this too shall pass.

...and with a little fiber, liberals too shall pass.

Thank You George! At least there is someone in here with some common sense.

Mike: I have no children and fit your description of optimal thinker, which I find disturbing. What happened to this kid in daycare is straight out abuse. I can remember a few spankings. It was all Bugs Bunny's fault for pulling the chair out from under Elmer Fudd. Thought it would be funny to do to my mom. She didn't think it was so funny. The worst part of the spankings was the aftermath. I was treated like dirt, ignored and a civil tone of voice was rare for at least 2 days. That was horrible. A kid should always feel loved. Not sure this child in daycare was feeling the love. From a child's point of view, he or she should never be made to feel as if the parents hate him or her, no matter what type of punishment is meted out. And,don't trust others to disicipline your kid.

Nice try MIke ...try reading some more of my posts...you'll know all about my kids.

Again - you are proving my point. All the situations in which you spoke of, you and your husband were in a situation where you felt a lack of control and the circumstances were dire....your kids could have died by running from a parked car.

I too have had similar things that my kids have done...the difference between us is that you and your husband actually LOST IT. You lost your cool in these situations - and instead of teaching WHY the kids shouldn't do these things...you just taught them to use violence to get someones attention.

My kids ran from me 1 time each....How many times did yours keep doing it after you tried explaining to a 3 year old why we don't run in the parking lot or street? News Flash..Kids this age don't understand death and/or injury and talking to them about the "why we don't do this" is a fallacy and at best keeps with them for 30 minutes. If you think everyone LOSES IT when spanking a child, your wrong, wrong and more wrong. The only way I can figure your reasoning on this is that you LOSE IT with your children on a daily basis. Let me guess, you have to count to 10 each time your child does something inappropriate...That my friend is LOSING IT!!! I however, rolled with the punches and spent a lot of time laughing at my toddlers antics of just being a child and finding trouble at every corner.